February 2010
5 posts
1 tag
Thanks for following, y'all!
<3
Bonerific's comin' back!
GET READY TO GET BONERS.
June 2009
1 post
White People at Reggae Shows!
Think of the most embarrassed you’ve ever been for another person. Like when they got pantsed in class in the seventh grade, or got too drunk and pissed themselves in public, or let out a super awkward scream when you jumped out and scared them that one time. Okay, now take that embarrassment, multiply it by about 150-200 (depending on the number of people present), and that is what it is...
May 2009
11 posts
Harvey Keitel!
How badass is this guy? Look at him. Actually, “if self-preservation is an instinct you possess…” (to quote the man, himself) you’d better not. Knowing how badass this guy is, he’d probably start off by asking some witty variation of “The fuck are you looking at?” and then either make you dig a hole deep enough that he could legitimately justify killing...
People who tip their bartenders well!
Ladies and gentlemen of the high-tippin’ variety, my hat is off to you in the most bonerific of ways. You make my job (something I’m in the process of writing a post about right now, actually) fun. One might even say you make it bonerific. Either way, you do a great job at keeping me fed, and for that you get a most bonerific of salutes. If you tip well and tell me that...
Metal!
Like, are you serious? How can this genre of music be so good? And where was I between the years of 2000 and 2006? I’ll tell you where I was: I was in the state of Denial, in a little town called Missinoutsville. I’ll admit it: During those years of my life, I thought metal was stupid. Straight-up. I’ll also admit that during those six years I was a fucking dweeb who...
Degrassi!
Some of you creeps are going to think that I’m taking a way more literal approach to the term “bonerific” than I actually am. Not so, except when talking about coffee, good beer, or Daniel Day-Lewis. However, that’s somewhat beside the point. The point is that Degrassi, a Canadian TV show about a bunch of teenagers at a mythical high school in Canada where every dramatic...
No Country For Old Men!
This is kind of a multi-post as well. Cormac McCarthy, The Coen Brothers, and Tommy Lee Jones when he gets a good role are all pretty bonerific. But that’s not all that’s bonerific about this movie, no sirree. It’s a movie that’s thrilling enough for anyone who just wants to sit and watch a crazy fucking creepy movie, but with enough wild, hidden intellectual shit to...
Coffee!
Second-best to sleep, but that leaves it as being “pretty fuckin’ good”. Think about it. Who would have thought that a beverage so seemingly bitter upon the first sip could eventually be something that your taste buds have to essentially analyze for flavor? It’s like reading a book that is actually just a taste explosion in your mouth. What’s more, it makes you...
Sleep!
This is a double post.
1.) Sleeping. How fucking great is it? I’ll tell you how fucking great it is. It is really fucking great. It’s so great we do it every day, and pretty much never get tired of it. Pun totally intended.
2.) The band. Sleep. What other band could record a One-hour, three-and-a-half-minute-long epic about a procession of weed priests across a desert? ...
Cookouts!
I think one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done in quite a while is having fired up the grill, thrown some shit on it, and watched it cook with some close friends, some beers, and some Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Daniel Day Lewis!
Look at this suave motherfucker. He is such an amazing actor that he can make being a monstrously greedy, murderous alcoholic look appealing.
Mint Juleps!
Ingredients: Bourbon, Simple Syrup, ice, and mashed or chopped mint leaves to taste, and a garnish of mint leaves if desired.
This drink not only tastes like a sweet, sweet smooch from the Gods, but has the power to make you feel like you should walk outside and find yourself in New York City before the streets were even paved. Then a paperboy would scream “EXTREY, EXTREY, READ ALL ABOUT...
Bonerific Mission Statement
This Tumblr is about all things bonerific. This includes, but is not limited to, situations, art, music, people, general things, animals, food, classes, jobs, TV shows, et cetera. Hopefully you will find many of the things I post as bonerific as I do.